Save? Closure? Quick kick?

"Closers" are to baseball what Hungarian-born, soccer-style field goal kickers were to football. In other words, not much.

Just let one of today's bullpen guys try to explain to Old Hoss Radbourn (above) about their one-inning "heroics" and closures. Hoss would turn over in his grave and probably have a nice puke while he was at it.

And there's no need for the one-inning guy to show off his gold chain to Old Hoss, either, because Hoss would likely just pulverize it into a lipful of snuff. And don't even get me and Hoss started on these starting "pitchers" who can't even get through nine innings, due to a chipped nail or a run in their hose . . .

As for field goal kickers, why not just go ahead and punt the damn thing? Better yet, why not quick kick as old Bud Wilkinson would have ordered way down yonder at OU? Points for a field goal? Are you kidding Old Hoss? No more points for field goals. No more field goals period.

Now go and explore Old Hoss Radbourn's career figures for complete games.

My luxurious home

Washington Redskins Over-the-hill Gang 1971 1972

The Washington Redskins was the team I loved to hate back in the seventies. When George Allen took over the Washington Redskins, he held the philosophy that said The future is now. Thus he acquired many veteran players to fill his roster, instead of waiting for the younger players to bloom.

And what a laundry list of old stars he got: Billy Kilmer, Marlin McKeever, Jack Pardee, Myron Pottios, Maxie Baughan, Diron Talbert, John Wilbur (yes, this list is thick with recycled Rams - George's old team), Clifton "Sticks" McNeil, Boyd Dowler, Richie Petitbon, Alvin Haymond, Speedy Duncan & big Ron McDole.

The average age of his starters was 31, and his plan paid big dividends, as the Skins finished second in the East at 9-4-1 in 1971 and won the East & went to the Super Bowl only to lose to the unbeaten Dolphins the next year.

I admit, as a Dallas Cowboys fan, I hated George and the Redskins back then. George was just too prissy and too much like football's Richard M. Nixon for my taste. Still, there was nothing like that rivalry back then, George matching wits with Tom Landry. Those two games between them each season were just nail-biters for me - wondering, among other things, would Larry Brown be able to be contained on the ground and Charley Taylor through the air? would Calvin Hill and rugged Walt Garrison be able to bust through the Redskins' stingy defensive line?

Today, I would give anything to turn back the clock and have old George squatting down on the sideline, maniacally licking his thumbs the way he always did, so I could love to hate him just once more. Here's to you, George Allen, and to your great Over-the-hill gang.

1971 Topps Redskins

Why I don't like the "New England" Patriots

I guess it's because I haven't liked them since they donned the space cadet uniforms, whenever that was. Not to mention the awful helmet with the obviously French gent on the side pretending to be George Washington. They need to go back to the cool helmets that showed the tough little Minuteman about to hike the ball & looked like he was ready for anything! Those were the days, my friend . . .

ALSO SEE: "Sexiest LPGA babes"

All I Want for Christmas

Here it is, babies--1968 Topps Stand-ups complete set. Please forward!

Check 'em out!

My lame "watercolors"

What sports cards am I getting rid of?

The cards I have been auctioning off on Ebay lately are:

1954 Bowman football

1967 Topps Baseball

1972 Topps baseball

1974 Topps Baseball

I auction a big-time premium superstar whenever I feel like it.

Slowly, slowly getting rid of all my cards because I need the money and space. Will later concentrate on amassing complete sets of some of my favorite years.

My auctions

Most dignified football card

My choice for most dignified-looking card would have to be the 1971 Topps Errol Mann. Now, as a kicker, good old Errol never scored a touchdown; but if he did, just by looking at this card you can tell he would never have done an annoying endzone dance or showboated at all after his touchdown, like all those guys do today, as if it were their first time ever to score; Errol would have calmly, and with great dignity, merely handed the ball to the ref. Go, Errol! It's never too late to make a comeback & join that 1000-point club - you are so close!

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